Authenticity : Find The Path To The Real You

Change occurs, whether you want it or not. Maybe a major setback has left you powerless. Or maybe you are under stress, burnout is bubbling to the surface, you are unable to feel joy and to invest your life with meaning. You wake up every morning dreading the day and feeling like you should stay in bed. You avoid looking into your bathroom mirror because you are ashamed of your self-image. But is it really your self image ? Or is it shaped by conditioning ? By your struggle to "get along with the world" ?

Authenticity :
Being true to one's spirit despite external pressure

We are all conditioned to look for success, abundance, peace of mind, in the outer world. Whether we realize it or not, we follow in someone else's shoes. When we are stuck in a rut, when we suffer a major setback or when we simply feel unhappy, we try to find the reason in the outer world too. So, what seems to be the problem ? The job, the house, the spouse, the fame you will never get ? The job, the house, the spouse, the fame you no longer have ?

Maybe... Then why do you HEAR this voice constantly whispering in your ear that this is not the problem? That you are missing the point ? That there is a higher agenda ? Why does this voice - this other you - keep telling you that the answer is not in the outer but in the inner world ?

But... the key to your inner world seems to be missing ! You don't remember where you put it ? Of course you don't. You had been so busy climbing uphill during the "first act" of your life - building a career, raising a family, dealing with immediate concerns - that you have lost yourself, dumped your dreams and flattened your creativity in the process. In return, you got a false identity and adopted a lifestyle that makes you feel like "you belong" but force you to play a part not consistent with your core values.

When are we authentic ?
When we feel we live on purpose

Think of that "fashion mistake" you still keep in your closet. You must have at least one, everybody does. You considered it a "must have" because of the brand or because it looked "fantastic" on somebody else. Even if it wasn't "quite you", you forced yourself to wear it anyway. Whenever you blame yourself for not daring to throw it away, you find the perfect excuse : it was sooo expensive ! Or : it was suuuch a bargain !

Likewise, the actions that earned you your false identity and the lifestyle that goes with it cost you so many efforts that you don’t dare to change them for the genuine "you". But when you are stuck and need to empower yourself to break free of your rut, this false identity is just dead load. Worse, it tells you that you must go "from setback to comeback".

Comeback to what? To a replay of your "first act", following the winner-takes-all prepared script and leading you to make the same mistakes, again and again. Fortunately, there is no magic carpet ready to take you "from setback to comeback". Yes, fortunately ! Don’t come back ! Go forward ! Accept the fact that your life must change. And take control of the change. Explore your authentic nature, tap into your strengths, skills, values you have hidden so deep that you no longer know you possess.

There is no map for your journey towards your authentic self. No how-to for a successful usage of your natural gifts. Only you know what is authentic for you. But we all know we're authentic when we invest what we do with meaning and when we feel we live on purpose.

Start with the following
To Do List

• Accept the fact that your life must change
  but...
• Accept what cannot change.
• Find the correspondence among what should be, what can be and what is.
• Attain your needs before pursuing your wants.
• Honor yourself.
• Stop feeling guilty for honoring yourself.
• Identify your inner critic : is it your father ? Your mother ? A teacher ? Society ? The media ?
• Learn to say NO.
• Learn to LET GO.
• Say what you mean, do what you say.
• Choose empathy over apathy.
• Give what you want to receive.
• Find humor in being human.
• Live deliberately.
• Enjoy the journey.
• Appreciate the distance already covered.
• Embrace passion.

First of all :
Allow yourself to dream

Not about a "perfect" life : about an authentic life. Use the power of your imagination to see the bigger picture, connect with those high qualities you have which make you unique – and lovable. What your authentic life would be like ? Visualize it. Visualize the road leading to it. It may be shorter than you think…

One can have no smaller or greater mastery than the mastery of oneself.

Leonardo Da Vinci

Read more :
Update Your Beliefs
Kick Start Your Creative Thinking

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10 Tactics For Increasing Your Mental Ability

No idea what to do with your lfe ? Start by getting your mind going first. Scientific research shows that exercising your brain keeps your mind from stagnating and creates the "cognitive reserve" you need when facing major changes. Fill the gap created by your productivity exhaustion and get back your motivation and creativity. Try these 10 tactics for increasing your mental ability.

Reconnect with the child inside. Play with food ! Be silly !
(Created by myself with my 10-year old daughter)
As mentioned in the previous post, when you are unable to figure out the action you need to take, don't waste your time going around and around in your head. Instead of misusing your brain, train your mind to think outside the box.

Brainstorm with yourself.
Make a list : write the first word that comes to your mind, then add 20-30 other words that come to mind. Read each word and write two things about it. As you do this, ideas will start flowing.

Have a conversation with your brain.
Let your mind flow then write down one of your random thoughts. Challenge an element of the thought with the question "What do I mean by this ?" Write down the answer. Challenge an element of the answer with the same question. Repeat this Q&A for 10 minutes, next day for 15 minutes, until you get into the habit of having a half an hour conversation with your brain every day.

Use both hemispheres.
Find out which hemisphere of your brain you use most. Take this Hemispheric Dominance test for instance (a brief explanation of the questions here). As you know, right-brain persons process from whole to parts, while left-brain persons process from parts to whole. For the first, the process is random and intuitive, for the second, it is linear and logical.

Tone your left hemisphere by practicing mathematical problems, word puzzles, learning a new language… Tone your right hemisphere by reading maps, creating metaphors, painting or drawing your thoughts instead of writing them down, etc.

And also :

• Practice mindfulness.
• Break the pattern of your activities.
• Mix prose and poetry in your readings (and writings).
• Do something you've never done before.
• Go somewhere inspiring.
• Make time to play cards, video games, chess, Scrabble, any game.

Above all :

Reconnect with the child inside.
Play with food, jump rope, finger paint, read children's stories… and be SILLY ! Ridiculous "what if" scenarios are actually a powerful tool for learning to think "outside the box". And, who knows ? One of those "what ifs" could prove to be a life changing idea !

These are just some of the ways you can take to maintain and increase your mental ability. Tell us about your tacttics to think outside the box.

Next : Move Into Your Authentic Self.

Back to : No Idea What To Do With Your Life ? Rejuvenate Your Brain.

Read more :
Boost Your Productivity With Hemingway's Hack.
Kick Start Your Creative Thinking.
Let Your Mistakes Be Part Of Your Style.

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No Idea What To Do With Your Life ? Rejuvenate Your Brain !

You are in transition. You wish you could create a major change. Instead you find yourself going around and around in your head, unable to sort things out. Will you ever fill the gap created by your productivity exhaustion and get back your motivation and energy ? Yes, you will : stop overusing, underusing, misusing your brain trying to figure out what action you need to take. Rejuvenate it first. Get your mind ready to create and direct your Second Act.

We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.Albert Einstein

Make space for new ideas.
Your future self starts with where you are now. Take some time to explore yourself and sort things out. Reflect on your experiences, your relationships, your values. Think about the circumstances that triggered your most vivid emotions. Make a list of what turns you on and what turns you off. If you don't know where to start your exploration, take Proust's Questionnaire or Vanity Fair's interactive version.

Make space for creativity.
Find a calm space or rename your "work space" your "creativity space". Over time, your brain will learn to associate that room with imaginative thinking, goal setting, meditation. Surround your creativity space with objects that make you happy and/or trigger your creative juices.

Make the intangible tangible.
Start a journal and consider it the material equivalent of your thoughts. It doesn't have to be filled exclusively with words. Use your journal to express yourself with drawings, pictures, collages, pressed leaves or flowers, etc. Write down your rambling thoughts – including rambling thoughts for the future -,copy out stimulating quotes, annotate anything that might capture your attention and awaken your senses.

Don't be critical to the detriment of spontaneity. Let your mind flow. The written version of your thoughts and emotions helps you visualize conscious and subconscious conjectures. It clears your mind of stresses. It provides your creative self with a voice. Keeping a journal is an activity that generates its own momentum. Therefore it will help you regain momentum in various areas of your life and keep it going when you are in transition.

Make your brain active.
Exercise your body and your mind. Do you want your brain to produce new ideas for life? You must feed it first. Physical exercise not only increases oxygen flow into the brain, it also stimulates the growth of fresh brain cells. Neuroscientists at Cambridge University have shown that running has a big impact on mental ability, by stimulating the brain to grow fresh grey matter.

Scientific research also shows that exercising your brain keeps your mind from stagnating and creates the "cognitive reserve" you need when facing major changes. In the next post you will discover 10 tactics for maintaining and increasing your mental ability.

These are just some of the ways you can take to get your mind going. Tell us about your experiences with rejuvenating your brain.

Next : 10 Tactics For Increasing Your Mental Ability.

Read more :
Kick Start Your Creative Thinking.
How Multitasking Messes With Your Brain.
Get Back Your Energy When You Get The Blues.

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Kick Start Your Creative Thinking

We are all creative. Every day. In many ways. Yet many people believe creativity belongs exclusively to "artists". This self-limiting belief discourages them from attempting major life changes, blocks their road to authenticity, forces them to live frustrating lives, full of bitterness over lost opportunities.

To develop your creativity, train yourself to : think and act imaginatively > use your imaginative activity for a purpose > generate something original (which challenges the norm) and valuable (which surprises, inspires, helps other people).

In other words, train yourself to think "outside the box" and offer the fruit of your creative thinking to the world.

Is it that simple ? No. Many of us believe that creativity starts with a "great idea" or with a "solution". A great idea for what ? A solution to what ? There are zillions of great ideas that nobody cares to adapt, or solutions to problems that nobody cares to adopt. Creative thinking doesn't start with ideas or solutions, but with THE problem.

The Eiffel Tower was just a "crazy idea" before its inauguration in 1889.
It is now the most visited monument in the world. © Dan Drafta, 2010.
Every great discovery, every masterpiece sprang up from an unsolved problem (or an unanswered question). One day somebody turned the problem into a challenge. What's in a problem ? Something that doesn't work, that is not wanted, involving "doubt, uncertainty, difficulty", to quote the dictionary. What's in a challenge? Something that you desire, that you want to overcome, a call to engage in a contest…

Viewing a problem as a challenge consists in examining and interpreting the problem to give it new meaning. This is much simpler than it sounds. Just ask yourself :

• Why is this a problem ?
• Is there something else behind it ?
• How can I learn more about it ?
• What can I do about it ?
• What is at stake ?
• What experiment(s) can I perform to solve it ?

DON'T TELL YOURSELF :

- I am not creative.
- If something works well, there is no need to change it.
- I have a problem, I need a solution, fast !
- Creative people always have good ideas.
- Criticism will help improve my creativity.
- My brain will store my ideas,
I don't need to write them down.

Now is the moment to start generating idea. Plenty of ideas. Don't censor yourself. Don't give up at the first "stupid" idea that comes to mind. Don't rush into implementing the first "good" idea that comes to mind either. Instead, ask yourself : "How can I develop this silly idea into a good idea ? How can I develop this good idea into a better idea ?"

Remember : an idea is a fragile flower. Think twice before sharing it. And when you do, don't discard your idea when it gets criticized. Again, turn the problem into a challenge : Ask your critics to improve it. Let's see how creative they are !

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