5 Reasons To Believe In People Again

Turn on the news and the first thing you are likely to hear about is some scam, brutal murder or identity theft. With all this in mind it is no wonder that communities don’t know each other anymore. It's not just a factor of size, it's a factor of trust.

We have stopped believing in people. This creates a vicious cycle of tension between ourselves and our neighbors. We start assuming that everyone is out to get us and, because each of us begins to harbor this mindset, we treat each other with suspicion : being treated with suspicion only confirms to the neighbor that you are hiding something, and the cycle continues. We have to stop this. Here are 5 reasons to start believing in people again.

Article by Justin Dixon from AlittleBetter

1. People behave according to the way they are treated.
An interesting experiment was done with a group of students where instead of telling the students what their actual scores were, all students were told a random score. Students that were told they would need extra help started doing poorly in school even though they were given the extra help. Students that were told they did very well and didn’t need teacher supervising anymore started doing much better in class even though they were getting less help. It did not matter what their grades were before the test.

So again. We end up creating a vicious cycle, if we do not learn to show some faith in people.

2. People want to be good.
Can you think of one person who when asked what they wanted to be when they grew up responded with “the worse person I can be”? Nobody goes out of there way to do something bad. Nobody casts themselves as the bad guy. Do you? Why would you be the exception?

3. People want to be helpful.
Private charities give 4 times as much money annually to good causes than every state program including peace corps put together. Habitat for Humanity put together WAY more houses than FEMA. We don’t have to force people to be helpful. People do this on their own. It gives their lives a sense of purpose. A quick way you can check this with yourself is when you see someone hurting : do you not want to help? Everyone has that, even if we don’t always act on it (mostly out of fear of one another).

4. We are all in this together.
Every one has some burden to carry. There is not one person on this planet who doesn’t. On top of that every single one of us is trying to figure out the one way to live that is going to have the best results for him.

5. You can inspire others.
When you choose to believe the best in people you often end up pulling it out. When you pull the best out of others the best of yourself comes out as well.

So what can we do with all this? You can invite your neighbors over for dinner. You can start conversations with people. You can give others a chance. You can open up a little. While the media may only focus on the negative stuff, that would be because it is news when it happens. Reach out to others, ask for help, offer help, but whatever you do make sure to at least give people a chance.

This work by Justin Dixon is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at alittlebetter.net.

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8 Glasses Of Water A Day... Keep The Doctor Away

QUICK TIP OF THE WEEK We should drink the equivalent of 6 to 8 glasses of water each day to increase our energy, concentration and abilities, according to nutritionists (8x8-once cups). Not to mention weight loss, a healthier looking skin, removing toxins from the body and tens of other benefits. So trick yourself into this simple routine and become an addict of the "magic potion":

• Drink a glass of water when you wake, to rehydrate your body and regulate your appetite.
  
  
• Fill half of your glass of fruit juice with water.
  
  
• Replace one of your typical choice of drinks with a glass of water. Start by replacing one, then try to replace two, three...
  
  
• Eat fruit and vegetables with high water content : tomatoes and watermelons for instance contain 90 to 95% water. Pears are high-high mosture content feeds too (they have an average dry matter of only 17%). There is an old French saying : "Garde une poire pour la soif" (when you're thirsty, have a pear).
  
  
• Drink less coffee : caffeine causes the body to lose water.
  
  
• Always have a fresh supply of water at hand while working. Think about it : a 2% drop in body water triggers difficulty focusing on a screen or printed page.
  
  
• Don't drink only when you are thirsty. Our body doesn't always tells the truth about how much water it really needs. Especially as we get older, our body loses the ability to tell when it's thirsty. So you should drink about three cups more than your thirst tells you to.
  
  
• Create a daily water schedule : one glass after lunch, one at "tea time", one after dinner... Or get in the habit of drinking a small glass of water after each trip to the restroom.

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Previous article : Manage Your Time - Forget Rules, Invent Your Own

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Manage Your Time Effortlessly – Forget Rules, Invent Your Own

Good news : the fact that you read this means you are actively searching for ways to better manage your time. You have a reason for doing this : you want to move forward with your life, get out of inertia, make major personal changes, achieve success and growth. You have a vision and you have a goal. But this is not enough. You need to get on track and to stay on track. First, you need to get started.

This article is the Introduction to a multi-part series on time management made easy. As editor of several magazines, professional coach and single mom, I have some experience in time management. I made extensive research and tested various methods, both at the office and at home.

And I came to the following conclusion : if you really want to learn how to manage your time, you better start by learning who you are. Instead of rushing to adopt other people’s expert strategies, adapt strategies to your personality and potential. Because they are unique.

As Goethe’s Faust says :

Before you can do something you must first be something.

I prefer to say : Before you can do something you must first be SOMEBODY. In short : be first, do later.

There are zillions of time management experts out there. Each one of them will tell you that his way of planning+prioritizing+time activating is the best, the only way. Maybe. Or maybe not. For example : some of them preach the virtues of « 2 minute tasks » (and sell you the « 2-minute timer » to better implement the rule…). Some others swear by the « 3-minute Power Tasker », which is the same rule + one minute bonus.

But what if the task that these guys accomplish in two or three minutes is a task you can accomplish in one minute ? Or five ? Are you a better or a worse manager of your time ? No, you are simply a different manager. Your relation to time is unique, as is your pace.

Now, don’t mistake pace for routine. The first is natural, the second is artificial in most cases. Routines are imposed on us by the outside world. We submit to them in order to avoid or solve crises. We no longer dictate, we react.
As you may have already noticed, the same old, tiresome, routines produce the same old, unsatisfactory, results. It’s up to you to set a starting point to managing your time differently. Some experts consider time management a goal, others say « it is a journey, not a destination ». I (who am an apprentice) say it is the vehicle carrying you, your visions, your goals, your action plans, to the only destination that matters : your authentic life.

Once you start the vehicle, you will get momentum. But before that, you need to learn how to drive it. You also need to find an answer to the question : « What kind of driver am I » ?

Who decides what you are about to do, what you plan to do, what you dream to do ? You ? Other people ? Outside forces ? Destiny ? Life, because « that’s life, you know » ? If you want to be the captain of your starship Enterprise, you must prepare for the job. Then, you need to adjust your seat before saying the magic words : « Engage ! Maximum warp ! »

So don’t start implementation of other people’s time management techniques, strategies and tips before exploring your potential, before getting control over what will happen to you in the next minutes, days, months, years…

And for this, you need… time. Training time. Time for :

• observing yourself,
• experimenting with different techniques,
• making appointments with yourself,
• learning to write things down.

(I will detail all these topics and more in the next articles of the series).

Some of us will need only a week of self-training. Others will need a month. Or two. Whatever. You can be sure of one thing : the time you will be spending in training yourself (to observe, to test, to review), is not wasted, but well invested. Once you have learned who you are with respect to Time, you will be able to take control over it. Then, and only then, you will stop asking yourself the question which tortures so many minds :

Do I do this or that?

In the next article of this series I will discuss self-observation and exploration of various time-management tactics.

Previous article : The Goal-Progress Review With Your Goal Buddy.
Next article : 8 Glasses Of Water A Day Keep The Doctor Away.

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The Goal Progress Review With Your Goal Buddy : Ready To Use Format+Worksheet

The goal progress review with your accountability partner is a powerful motivational tool for achieving your goal. Discover the format, questions and worksheet that will help you both to track your goals during your meetings.



In Part I and Part II of the Successful Goal Buddy System Series, I encouraged you to follow 3 rules and 5 guidelines when choosing an accountability partner and building a system which will help both of you reach your goals. Now you also need to decide on the procedure to follow during your goal-tracking meetings.

The Meeting Format

Topic #1 : ACTION
Share with your accountability partner on the following questions:

• Are you following your action plan ?
• What progress have you made toward your goal since the last meeting?
• What obstacles (inner and external) did you encounter ?
• What is your plan to overcome them ?
• What do you plan to accomplish by the next meeting?
• Is anything in your action plan that needs improvement ?
• Is anything in my action plan that needs improvement ?

TOPIC #2 : RESOURCES
Share with your accountability partner on the following questions:

• What information do you need to help you toward your goal ?
• What significant new information did you gather since the last meeting ?
• What do you plan to study in order to overcome both inner and external obstacles ?
• Are your other resources (money, time, support) still adequate to your action plan ?

Topic #3 : PERSONAL GROWTH
Share with your accountability partner on the following questions:

• Is this goal easier or harder than expected?
• Are you happy with your progress ?
• Do you still want to accomplish this specific goal or do you need to revise it ?
• Did you notice self-sabotage tendencies since our last meeting ? If yes, what can I do to help you deal with it ?
• How did you reward yourself for your progress since the last meeting ?
• Is our partnership still useful and motivational for you ?
• If yes, what can we do to celebrate both our progress and our successful goal buddy system

Remember : While you should take your partnership seriously, the aim of a goal buddy system is to make goal achievement a lighthearted experience.


The Goal Progress Review Worksheet
Last year I started a goal buddy system with my friend Myriam. We are both journalists and former co-workers.

Prior to our first goal-checking phone call, I had built a simple worksheet - using Word - to monitor our progress during meetings (our goals and deadlines were similar, which is a plus point when creating an accountability partnership). We both found it a helpful tool. We took turns in filling the cells and shared the worksheet by e-mail after each meeting.

Now that we both accomplished our goals, I want to share it with you. The worksheet is ready to use for weekly phone calls - therefore for "weekly goals" you set with your partner to monitor your progress. Of course, you can adapt it to the specifics of your goals, add cells according to your schedule and the time-limit you set for your partnership. But my advice is : keep it simple.

Click to enlarge

Enjoy your journey toward your goal.
And thank you again for visiting The Second Act.

Return to Part I :
The 3 golden rules when choosing your goal-buddy.

Return to Part II :
5 guidelines for a successful goal-buddy system.

Share with us :
Your thoughts and experience about a successful goal-buddy system.

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- Have you ever used a goal buddy system ?
- Do you follow a similar meeting format ?
- Do you find this worksheet useful ?

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